


Charmed

by CommanderAnzu



Category: Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (TV)
Genre: Coffee Shops, F/M, im sorry, they do the diddly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:44:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7982152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderAnzu/pseuds/CommanderAnzu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rainy day has you alone on the job, a cute little coffee shop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charmed

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry this exists im dead inside aaaaaaaaaaa

Your job as a waitress could be a real hassle, but you wouldn't give it up for anything. Especially after... well, whatever the fuck that was.  
The work day had been a slow one. You were working a long shift alone due to some spontaneous vacations, but you felt you could handle it. Still, it was a little lonely. Despite the relentless thunderstorms outside, not many chose to take refuge at your little coffee shop in the middle of town, and if they did, they wouldn't stay long.  
After about an hour with no customer in sight, you sighed and sat down on one of the comfortable couches by the large window in the front of your store. You thought about how easy it would be to close up early and leave. No one would ever know. But no, you made a commitment, and you were going to see it through. It looked pretty bleak though. Actually...  
Your eyes lit up as you became aware of the soft violin music playing over the speakers. The boss' classical music CD was a permanent fixture in the shop, despite the dozens of protests from the employees. It was nice music, but not when you heard it so much you were hearing it in your nightmares.  
You hopped up from the couch and walked back to where the system was set up, noting there was indeed a wire to plug into your phone. Immediately, you plugged it in and it began to play the last song you'd been listening to. You grinned, pleased with yourself. Then you cranked the volume to the max.  
You danced as you normally would only do in the privacy of your own room, but this felt the same. There wasn't a single customer. You grabbed a broom and began to sing into it as it it were a mic on a stand, not caring for the world that you weren't even close to hitting those high notes. You were adsorbed by your performance, singing the lyrics to the song you'd listened to so often that you sang along to the instrumental parts as well. You managed to hit the last note and struck a pose.  
As soon as the final chords faded out, you heard a different sound. You put your phone on pause and froze.  
Someone was clapping enthusiastically.  
It took you only a fraction of a second to recognize who it was.  
"Oh jesus," you mumbled, accidentally dropping the broom.  
The figure stopped applauding and looked at you with concern. "Are you quite alright? I didn't mean to frighten you. My apologies. You're very talented."  
"You're... What the fuck."  
"Actually, my name is John Oliver." His smile was contagious.  
You took in the sight of him standing there, rained on, a little out of breath, and absolutely adorable. His hair was a bit of a mess, and he ran a hand through it as if it would fix the damage the rain had done. You tried to speak, but your words got caught in your throat.  
He gestured towards you awkwardly after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. "And you are...?"  
Your face burned as you told him your name.  
"Lovely name," he complimented.  
"Charmed." You could feel your face flush a shade darker.  
"Ch-charmed."  
"It's raining pretty badly out there," he commented, politely ignoring your current lack of brain cells. "I thought I'd come in until it let up."  
You stared at him blankly before responding. "Y-yeah." Smooth.  
You then shifted completely into work mode and picked up the broom.  
"I'm terribly sorry about this, I was caught a little off guard." Smoothing your skirt, you began to make your way to the counter where you made the drinks. "If you'll follow me, sir."  
"It's alright," John said amiably. "I thought it to be rather cute."  
You froze again. "Um."  
You turned around to see John smiling at you with that lopsided grin, his cheeks flushed. "Sorry."  
You quickly made it behind the counter and tried to avoid his direct gaze as you listed the drinks and the available pastries.  
"What's your favorite tea?" he asked, startling you.  
"My personal favorite is probably the lemon ginger with honey," you replied honestly. "It's good, I promise."  
"I think I'll have two of those, please," he said, pulling out his wallet.  
You stared at him in confusion. "You don't need to get two, when you are done I can just get you another."  
He put the money on the counter and scratched the back of his head in a nervous gesture.  
"I suppose I should have asked if you'd like to join me."  
There was that damn blush again. "Mr. Oliver, I-"  
"That's rather formal," he interrupted. "It's John, please."  
"J-john." You paused, trying to calm your frantic heart. "I'd love to."  
His face lit up in a grin. "Wonderful."  
You took the money and gave him change, bustling away to make the tea, but not before seeing the healthy tip he placed in the jar. He then went to sit in one of the couches by the window.  
As you worked, your mind raced. What in gods name was he doing here? Well, that didn't matter, so much as the fact that you were totally blowing it. How much more uncomfortable could you possibly make him? Poor guy probably felt sorry for you. He was so polite.  
You brought the tea over and carefully set it down on the table, then sitting in the chair opposite the couch. You noticed he had discarded his slightly damp coat on the coffee table.  
"I don't bite usually," he teased, gesturing to the space next to him on the couch.  
You moved to sit next to him, all too aware of your leg brushing up against his.  
Satisfied, he picked up his tea and breathed deeply.  
"Smells nice," he murmured. "You've got good taste thus far."  
"Of course," you scoffed playfully, taking a sip from the steaming mug. "I know what I'm doing."  
John raised an eyebrow. "We'll see about that."  
He took a long sip of tea, and you couldn't resist muttering "You mean we'll tEA about that."  
He choked immediately.  
"Ah! I'm so sorry!" You apologized profusely as he managed to swallow the tea. He was laughing.  
"That was so stupid!" he exclaimed. "Why did I laugh?"  
"I'm honestly not sure. I'm not funny."  
"I think you're charming."  
The blush returned with a vengeance.  
"I'm so sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable," he said quickly.  
"No!" you blurted. "No, this is... This is a lot more than I could have imagined with you."  
"You know me?" He sounded surprised.  
"Of course!" you exclaimed. "You're incredible! I've been watching Last Week Tonight since it first began airing! And your work on The Dailey Show was absolutely fantastic; you and Jon were magic together. I've watched every-" You stopped short, realIzing how creepy you sounded.  
"I'm sorry..." you mumbled. "I just really like you."  
John looked appalled. "Why on earth are you apologizing? I'm honored that you have taken such a liking to my work!"  
Not just your work, you thought.  
"I'm glad to hear it," you said, relieved he didn't realize what you meant by the last part.  
Silence.  
"You really like me, huh?"  
Your heart fluttered nervously.  
"Y-es?" you drew out the word, uncomfortable with how much you were telling him.  
He was staring at you intently.  
"Why?"  
"I... I just think you're wonderful."  
He reached out to grasp your hand in one of his, and you watched, practically trembling, as he kissed it gently.  
"Um. Shit. This is- wow." You weren't exactly coherent at this point.  
He looked back up at you, still holding your hand. "Are you uncomfortable?"  
"Oh fuck no," you said immediately.  
He smiled at you, and you couldn't help smiling back. You laughed.  
"This is crazy. I must be dreaming."  
You stopped cold, the smile leaving your face.  
"I'm dreaming, aren't I?"  
John looked bemused. "I don't think so, love."  
You gripped his hand.  
"You feel real."  
"I am real."  
"You positive?"  
"Well, what would you do if this was a dream?" He looked at you with dark eyes.  
Without pausing, you leaned in and kissed him, reveling in the softness of his lips against yours. Pulling away, you stared at him, licking your lips. He watched you hungrily.  
"Do you still think you're dreaming?"  
"A little."  
"Well then you can do anything you want, correct?"  
"Yeah."  
You moved over until you were straddling his lap, facing him. He looked surprised, but not at all displeased with the turn of events. His hands found your hips and he stroked little circles on your skin with his thumbs.  
"If this wasn't a dream you would have shoved me off by now," you whispered. "There's no way this is happening."  
John looked confused. "What? Why?"  
"You could have a lot of beautiful women. You're popular and funny and adorable. Why would you be here right now?"  
"Because I want this beautiful woman."  
"There's no way you're this goddamn smooth. I'm dreaming."  
"I'm offended."  
He kissed you again, and you tangled your hands into his mop of unruly hair. His hands moved to wrap around your waist, effectively pulling you closer. The kiss got deeper, more desperate. You whimpered softly as his tongue explored your mouth, making your head spin. Grinding down, you could feel his erection pressing against you. You broke apart, both panting for breath.  
"This is the best dream ever," you gasped, running your hands through his hair.  
"It's not a dream," he said breathlessly. "Do I need to pinch you?"  
"No thanks, I don't wanna wake up."  
John looked at you determinedly. "You would most certainly not."  
"I'm not taking any chances."  
As you spoke, John pulled at the hem of your shirt.  
"May I?"  
You glanced around at the window, but no one was walking by and it didn't look like the rain was letting up anytime soon.  
You turned back and nodded, blushing as he pushed your shirt and bra up so that your breasts were revealed. His hands were all over you, pinching and tugging at your nipples as you arched your back to push yourself farther into his hands. He kissed your chest with an open mouth, smirking against your skin when you whined softly. The bulge in his pants was pressing against your sex, and you moved your hands down to fumble at his belt. His mouth left you and you could hear him breathing heavily.  
"I don't think you're ready, love," he whispered as he grasped both your hands in one of his and held them from moving. "I don't want to hurt you."  
You whined impatiently and grinded down onto him, almost coming undone when you heard him emit a low groan.  
"I want you," you pleaded.  
"I want you too," he promised.  
His free hand trailed down to the thin cloth of your panties, stroking you through the material. You shuddered.  
He moved the material to the side and slid a finger inside you, taking a deep breath as he felt how wet you were.  
"You feel incredible," he breathed. He slid in a second finger and began to pump them in and out slowly.  
You tried to move your arms but he was holding them tightly, surprisingly enough. You had never thought he would be so much stronger than you. Or maybe you were weaker than you thought.  
His fingers curled in and hit a spot that made you twitch around him.  
"Ah," he noted, watching your face contort in pleasure. "There it is."  
He began to move faster, hitting the same spot inside you until you were trembling.  
"You're so beautiful," he was whispering as you came, moaning a string of profanities.  
He pulled his fingers out and pressed then against your lips until you opened your mouth to lick them off.  
"Good girl," he murmured as you finished cleaning his fingers. He kissed you again, entwining his tongue with yours. He let go of your hands and you immediately reached for his belt again, succeeding in unbuckling it and unzipping his pants. He pulled away from you.  
"Shit," he muttered. "No condom."  
"I'm on the pill," you replied, grinning at his eager expression.  
He lined himself up with your entrance and watched as you slid yourself onto him slowly. You moaned as he filled you completely.  
"Fuck," he gasped. "You- oh god. Fuck, that feels good." His hands grasped at your hips and he guided you up and down, relishing the little noises you made when he hit a good spot inside you.  
As your legs began to give out, you rolled your hips with him inside you, hearing him groan at the sensation. You grinned and continued, enjoying the feeling of his fingers digging into your hips, surely leaving marks that you would be quite proud of later.  
You moaned as he pulled you close and began to kiss along your neck, nipping at the soft skin along your jaw.  
"John?" you whimpered, embarrassed to hear how desperate you sounded.  
"Yes, love?" He was still kissing your neck.  
"I'm gonna come."  
"Good."  
He held you against him as you came, muttering his name repeatedly.  
"Shit, I'm almost there," he murmured as he began to stroke your clit.  
You almost yelled as you immediately came again, feeling him empty himself into you as he groaned your name.  
You lay with your head on his shoulder, shaking slightly.  
"You alright?" he asked quietly, stroking your back.  
"Yeah," you replied, lifting your head to face him. He smiled at you and kissed your forehead.  
"Are you able to get up?" he asked.  
"Oh, fucking fuck," you muttered as you realized how sensitive you were, pulling yourself off him.  
"What explicit language," he teased, and you stopped, still sitting on his lap.  
"It's your shows damn fault," you accused. "I wasn't like this before you."  
He chuckled at you and pulled a a piece of cloth out of his pocket.  
"You need to clean up?"  
"I don't want to ruin your nice handkerchief or whatever," you protested.  
"Don't worry about it," he assured.  
He gently cleaned what he could from your sex, then throwing the cloth onto his discarded coat. You readjusted your underwear, shirt, and bra to how they were originally.  
"Thanks," you muttered, getting off him to sit back on the couch.  
John zipped his pants back up and buckled himself, which you took advantage of by placing your head in his lap. He began to stroke your hair, and you looked up at him contentedly. His fingers combed through your messy locks, relaxing you to the point of letting your eyes drift shut.  
"So are you awake or what?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.  
You laughed. "I think so?" Then you stopped suddenly, eyes wide open.  
"Holy shit. I just had sex with John Oliver."  
"Well, it was a mutual thing, or else that would have been weird."  
"But... I was on top."  
"I'll admit I wasn't expecting that, but I rather enjoyed it."  
You groaned and tried to cover your face with your hands, but you could hear him laughing quietly at you.  
"It was wonderful, love. But next time, I'm definitely going to be the one on top, got that?" He tipped your head up so that you were facing him directly.  
Your heart skipped a beat.  
"Next time?"  
"Of course! You didn't think I was just going to come and go?"  
You laughed at the double entendre. "Guess not."  
He released your chin and his free hand found yours, grasping it firmly.  
"You have a lovely singing voice by the way."  
"Shut up."

**Author's Note:**

> also if john oliver ever finds this: fuck you


End file.
